The blood of Solomon lies behind a heart of gold.

Money will never bring salvation. It is within the self to support the self. Many fear what it is like to be alone. I am just another passenger along the way. As I live, I see more truth. The truth in others, the truth in myself, and it's not pretty. What do I do in such a place of discomfort? Do I run? Do I hide? Do I give into temptation? I must be running out of time. It seems to be that I deserve judgement more than anyone else. Or am I not alone? I find tranquility within loneliness now. At least I cannot hurt anyone around me. I have a feline of love and compassion, yet my heart beats unwaveringly for more. Is this a time of questioning? Shall I pursue this feeling of desire? Not a desire of lust, but a desire of justification. It feels as if every second I spend here, the more I suffer. Is suffering beyond the horizon of opportunity or is that just a dream. We shall see in time. I must be a man of my own actions. Maybe it is time. Maybe it is time for me to take ownership of my life. Maybe it is time for me to be fearless, and not ferocious. I have been wounded greatly, yet the waves are relentless. A brother in arms has showed me love. Something I never would have expected.

I was falling down for so long, and finally a man of strong faith was able to catch me. Faith of an angel. He encouraged me to keep going. God has showed me truth and has sent an angel to remind me of my upbringings. I do not give into temptation. I do not give in to victimization. I must keep fighting. For that is all I can do. Quitting means death, and death is not ready for me. I am not ready for it. There is something out there waiting for me. A heart, a soul, a mind, and a body. Ready for my love and joy. It may even be my own. I have been imprisoned by my soul for so long. It is time for liberation. It is a constant battle of back and forth, and it never gets easier. I just keep getting wiser. Failure is a part of life, this I know. I'm just tired of doing it so much. Hopefully, with time, I will figure this out, and grow to be such a beautiful human being. This is what I pray for. To rid myself of these evils, and gain knowledge and prosperity. This should be the goal of many, but not everyone has experienced great suffering such as I have. Who am I to judge someone who is happy, or at least appears to be. Whether they like me or not. All I can do is be present. Waiting for someone real to enter my life. Waiting for the right people to present themselves. Such as they have today.